Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Factless Faxes

As I navigated the cubicle aisles carrying my dubious cup of work coffee, I noticed that the fax machine had some unattended missives. Thinking that I might be the intended recipient of these increasingly archaic communiqu├ęs, I stopped to review the latest fruits of our fax machine’s labor.

The faxes were addressed to me, in that they were addressed to everyone at the office. Apparently, there are some great stock deals out there. An obscure drug company is about to release a product, so time is running out to buy their stock. Plus, a contractor’s stock is about to go through the roof, thanks to construction demands caused by Hurricane Katrina.

Apart from the blatant insensitivity of using this national tragedy to promote a stock tip, who in the hell decides to buy a stock based on an unsolicited fax? Furthermore, who in the hell spends money on blasting out such faxes? A discounted Disney cruise, maybe, but a financial investment based on a faceless facsimile?

I would like to believe that there is a zero percent response rate on such things. I would like to believe the American people are smarter than that. Sadly, I’m sure that the same people who follow up on dubious financial investments with African dignitaries are likely to buy stock because the fax machine told them to.

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